who's life are you living?

there is this preconceived notion in our society of what our lives are supposed to look like. a notion subtly driven into our psyche from a tender age and one which even has changed the meaning of things. it used to be that being a "millionaire" meant having assets worth a million dollars. now that term means earning a million dollars a year. we're encouraged to live beyond our means, have a home too big for our needs, an expensive car to impress our friends and competitors, and to own a blue tooth headset costing enough to feed someone for a year in a third world country. at the same time, we are blessed to have that opportunity and there is no denying it. but if those glossy photos of plastic looking models weren't telling you how to live and what to look like, and we didn't have to work 80 hour weeks to afford that summer rental on the shore, how would you really live your life?

years ago, when i was a workaholic entrenched in a career i hated, a date asked me in a vulnerable moment that question. you know the one, the question we hate to be asked. if you could do anything you wanted, what would you do. i jokingly responded 'be an artist... with a rich benefactor'.

but the truth was, i had a hidden life. on the weekends, in the quiet of my apartment when no one was looking, i would stay up all night painting. being bored and exhausted one weekend, i wanted to do something new but low impact. i dug out an old art supply box given to me when i was young to see what there was and found some old, cheap pastels and a pad of watercolour paper. an obsession was born. i would work till 3:00 or 4:00 each night and then glean what little sleep i could. a few family members knew, and some friends, but that was it.

a few years later, as i was meditating leaving said heinous career, i asked myself that question again, but with deeper meaning. 'if i could shape my life in any way i wanted, what would it look like?'

i wanted to study and learn art and art techniques. i wanted to travel and remain in motion. i realized i don't like staying in one place. i like to explore. i like to see new things, new people. i want to experience different cultures and their depths hidden in languages. to combine the two, i decided on a nomadic existence; find a place to exhibit, move there 4-6 months before the exhibition, paint, learn the language, find something to study and find the next place to exhibit. rinse and repeat.

as i was starting to put my plan in motion, i met kevin and the plan stalled. men! i really liked my plan and, sadly or not, i was also quite attached to kevin. eight years later, i'm still attached to both however....

the plan has morphed into a new plan with details to follow and some nice opportunities for those interested in acquisitions!